segunda-feira, 22 de outubro de 2012
Everything seems like turning darker and darker, day after day. Me and him are not talking everyday. We don't have that magic of love. I just start having tears on my face only by saying this. My heart is so nervous and small. I'm cold as shit, because I need the person who was with me everyday in the summer. We are so far from each other in this relationship, even though we are always near at school. This is so confusing. My bones are shaking, every little piece of my body is shaking... of fear. Fear of losing someone important to me. I know, I said before that my feeling about him were falling apart, but god dammit, he continues to be my boy, but this relation is so dead right now. I'm so dead right now. Even the smile I see everyday on my class doesn't cheer me up. I just have to think in what I will do. Anyway, it has to be the best for both of us. Us....
sábado, 29 de setembro de 2012
Am I the only one who hates rainy days? When rains a lot and you almost can't get away of the place you are? When you feel lazy as fuck and you just want to go nowhere, just in your home? Well, I felt lazy last day, but I knew that I should go to school. I dressed up, went downstairs, made the breakfast, everything almost sleeping, with the feeling that I would fall down because of how sleepy I was.
My mom always leads me to school, so yesterday was not an exception. I said goodbye to my mom and I started running, because it was raining, obviously. I found my bestfriend and we both went to the classroom. I checked my phone before the lesson start and I had a message from my boyfriend saying "good morning love", I said the same to him and the lesson started. Geology. Geology lessons are pretty great, and the teacher is great too. He gave a lesson about rocks and stuff. It was kinda cool, actually. The time went fast, and the lazyness seemed to went away. I was awake then, and I checked my phone again. Nothing. My boyfriend didn't say anything. Since the last day I said if we could be together, he said maybe yes, but it turned into a maybe not. Since that day, he never invited me to be with him. I notice that something was wrong with him, and with us. Our relationship was never stable. We had a loads of ups and downs, but the downs were winning to the ups, nowadays. I started feeling that we both are almost givin' up from each other, but we are too shy to say it. In the breaks that we could be togheter, he was smoking with his friends.
During the english lesson, suddenly something came to my mind. The smile. Seems that it never wants to leave me. It's so annoying but so comforting at the same time. But people taught me that smiles can be insidous sometimes. What do you think?
sexta-feira, 28 de setembro de 2012
Yesterday was a day, normal, as always. A boring day of school. The beggining of a daily routine, an annoying one. But, in this day, something different happened, something that made me feel happy to be in school, but at the same time, it was something that was wrong to feel. He was a boy, a boy that has his smile printed in is face every second. That was one of the most beautiful smiles I ever seen. He is in my class, so I just appreciated his face that day. His smile stayed in my mind, till now, and I just think about it every second. But here's the worst part of this thing, the worst part of my life. As I said before, this was a feeling that was wrong to feel, and you are wondering why... because, I have a boyfriend. I love him, but at the same time I hate him for some reasons. He is not making me happy, the behaviours that he has with me are not the same as the old times anymore. That makes me feel sad, and tired. TIRED. I wonder if he still love me, and I wonder if I still love him.I'm just so insecure right now, that I just want to break up with him. And I don't know what to do.
How are you going everyone? I'm DawnRune, and this blog will show everything I fell. I mean like, really everything. Secrets, feelings, and etc., everything I want to show to my followers. Fell free do give a coment or advice. I will accept everything.
Have a nice journey (:
Have a nice journey (: